The City of London
You should never meet your audience and here is why:
Post Gig Conversation with audience member
PUNTER: Hi I am the mirror woman. [A heckler who joked about having
two mirrored wardrobes in her bedroom].
ME: Nice to meet you.
PUNTER: I don’t actually have two wardrobes in my bedroom.
ME: Oh?
PUNTER: I have them in my hallway. They are from IKEA.
ME: Oh right so they wouldn’t actually help you watch yourself during sex?
PUNTER: I don’t have a mirrored wardrobe on my ceiling either.
ME: I suppose wardrobes on ceilings are pretty impractical. Unless you
live in zero gravity conditions like on the International Space
Station. But then again in space there isn’t really any up nor down.
You could question whether ceilings really exists in space.
PUNTER: Yes? The mirrors are wavy shaped.
ME: Nice effect.
PUNTER: Yeah they’re really wavy... the mirrors.
ME: Well it is good to put a face to the voice.
PUNTER: Sorry about that.
ME: Why are you sorry?
PUNTER: For interrupting you. Sorry for that.
ME: No it’s OK, I don’t mind.
PUNTER: Sorry I interrupted you but I was trying to help you.
ME: I enjoyed it. It gave me an opportunity to go off script and
banter with a member of the audience. To be honest those are usually
the best bits.
PUNTER: Sorry it just slipped out.
ME: For me our banter was the highlight of my set.
PUNTER: Sorry.
ME: Why are you sorry? I like heckling.
PUNTER: I wasn’t heckling, I was helping you.
ME: Yes but I don’t mind heckling.
PUNTER: That wasn’t heckling, you call that heckling? I used to go to
Up The Creek. That’s not heckling.
ME: I don’t think all heckling’s bad, though, I don’t see it
necessarily as a bad thing.
PUNTER: I wasn’t heckling! I was helping!
ME: I think we have slightly different definitions of heckling. You’re
talking about aggressive heckling. You weren’t doing that. You were
just chipping in which was fine by me.
PUNTER: Well I’m sorry then if that’s how you feel!
ME: How do I feel?
PUNTER: You accused me of heckling, when all I was trying to do was help.
ME: I think we are at cross purposes here. You interrupted me. I am
happy with that. So we can both agree that it was good fun and we are
happy about it. So all good then?
PUNTER: I WASN’T HECKLING! I WAS HELPING YOU!
ME: OK. But I am not annoyed at you for interrupting.
PUNTER: Why don’t you leave me alone?
ME: Ok. It’s been nice to meet you but I must get my train.
PUNTER: It wasn’t going that well until I helped you.
ME: I don’t actually agree with that recollection of events. To my
mind it was going well before you helped me.
PUNTER: Admit it, you needed my help.
ME: I had fun chatting to you.
PUNTER: I’m sorry!
ME: I have to dash.
PUNTER: I found out today, I’m being made redundant in three weeks. Possibly?
ME: I’m sorry to hear that.
PUNTER: Is it because I chatted? Is that why you are leaving? I was
only trying to help.
ME: Great to meet you.
Why do I talk to them? Why do I never learn?
You should never meet your audience and here is why:
Post Gig Conversation with audience member
PUNTER: Hi I am the mirror woman. [A heckler who joked about having
two mirrored wardrobes in her bedroom].
ME: Nice to meet you.
PUNTER: I don’t actually have two wardrobes in my bedroom.
ME: Oh?
PUNTER: I have them in my hallway. They are from IKEA.
ME: Oh right so they wouldn’t actually help you watch yourself during sex?
PUNTER: I don’t have a mirrored wardrobe on my ceiling either.
ME: I suppose wardrobes on ceilings are pretty impractical. Unless you
live in zero gravity conditions like on the International Space
Station. But then again in space there isn’t really any up nor down.
You could question whether ceilings really exists in space.
PUNTER: Yes? The mirrors are wavy shaped.
ME: Nice effect.
PUNTER: Yeah they’re really wavy... the mirrors.
ME: Well it is good to put a face to the voice.
PUNTER: Sorry about that.
ME: Why are you sorry?
PUNTER: For interrupting you. Sorry for that.
ME: No it’s OK, I don’t mind.
PUNTER: Sorry I interrupted you but I was trying to help you.
ME: I enjoyed it. It gave me an opportunity to go off script and
banter with a member of the audience. To be honest those are usually
the best bits.
PUNTER: Sorry it just slipped out.
ME: For me our banter was the highlight of my set.
PUNTER: Sorry.
ME: Why are you sorry? I like heckling.
PUNTER: I wasn’t heckling, I was helping you.
ME: Yes but I don’t mind heckling.
PUNTER: That wasn’t heckling, you call that heckling? I used to go to
Up The Creek. That’s not heckling.
ME: I don’t think all heckling’s bad, though, I don’t see it
necessarily as a bad thing.
PUNTER: I wasn’t heckling! I was helping!
ME: I think we have slightly different definitions of heckling. You’re
talking about aggressive heckling. You weren’t doing that. You were
just chipping in which was fine by me.
PUNTER: Well I’m sorry then if that’s how you feel!
ME: How do I feel?
PUNTER: You accused me of heckling, when all I was trying to do was help.
ME: I think we are at cross purposes here. You interrupted me. I am
happy with that. So we can both agree that it was good fun and we are
happy about it. So all good then?
PUNTER: I WASN’T HECKLING! I WAS HELPING YOU!
ME: OK. But I am not annoyed at you for interrupting.
PUNTER: Why don’t you leave me alone?
ME: Ok. It’s been nice to meet you but I must get my train.
PUNTER: It wasn’t going that well until I helped you.
ME: I don’t actually agree with that recollection of events. To my
mind it was going well before you helped me.
PUNTER: Admit it, you needed my help.
ME: I had fun chatting to you.
PUNTER: I’m sorry!
ME: I have to dash.
PUNTER: I found out today, I’m being made redundant in three weeks. Possibly?
ME: I’m sorry to hear that.
PUNTER: Is it because I chatted? Is that why you are leaving? I was
only trying to help.
ME: Great to meet you.
Why do I talk to them? Why do I never learn?
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