Archive: Gig from 11 October 2012

Among Comedians, Liverpool does have a reputation for being a difficult place to play. Is that a fair reputation? Let's find out.

Show Report Friday 11^th October 2012

Venue:            Baby Blue – Liverpool

 The Manager of the venue insists on shaking my hand a lot. At least five times during the evening. This seems excessive and I don’t really understand why he does this. As I am working here the whole weekend, surely the thing to do is two shake my hand on arrival at the start of the weekend and once as I depart on the last evening. But he shakes my hand both before I go on stage and as I walk off. More worryingly I don’t notice him doing this to anyone else. Maybe he thinks I like this? Am I giving out a shake my hand vibe?

Venue

The problem with this particular venue is that not only is there no green room, but the acts have to sit by an area of seating next to the door. So you see all the audience as they filter in one by one. You cannot help but judge them as they walk in and impose personalities on them. Identifying theoretical trouble makers while pinpointing fictious allies. These judgements are almost always way off. Experience tells me that this is a futile exercise and still I indulge in it. Thinking this time it will be different.

Before Gig

I arrive some 90 minutes before the start of the show so I can take advantage of the food on offer and to allow adequate time for digestion before the show.. I have a Thai Chicken Curry.

There are three large groups in the audience and the remainder of the audience comprise of smaller clusters of human beings.

One large group is a table of about 20 men who are on some lad’s weekends. Ages vary from 30s to early 60s.. Some of them wear check shirts. Some of them have shaved heads or are bald naturally or a combination of the two. Some of them have hair. They are very drunk and playing drinking games 90 minutes before the show. They  shout “yayyyy” a lot and they wolf whistle any female who comes near their vicinity. They also spontaneously burst into song at various points. I have observed this behaviour in men before. There are obviously rules of society governing this kind of behaviour. I do not what they are.

The second group are a hen-do I would say at the civilised end of the hen spectrum. Again about twenty in number. The only thing I think as they walk in as that I don’t think I would be able to muster 20 friends if I were a hen.

The third groups is a group of teachers. They seem nice enough, they don’t even look like teachers. But authority figures can be problematic. Teachers and police officers used to telling others what to do, do not always like to be talked at by someone else in control.

The group of large blokes seem volatile. During both the compare and the 1^st act the gig gig goes well but there is always the feeling that the blokes could kick off at any moment. They are loud and intimidating. Indeed the opening acts admits that they are intimidating. At the start of the show, I give it only 50:50 chance that they will still be in the room and not have been booted out by the time I take to the stage. But as the show gets going they get into the swing of it and seem to understand how to behave. Sure they spontaneously shout out random things at unhelpful moments but considering how much they’ve had to drink. I admire their restraint.

During Gig

I have to pass the table of lads to get to the stage. They are located to one side of the stage and I have to walk between the wall and their table. Some of them have their seats pulled to far from the table meaning I have to manoeuvre around them to get to the stage. On stage I say my hellos and I realize that they are supplying most of the energy to the room. I banter with that table on the subject of Peter Sutcliffe and the table of lads seem on side. As I launch into my piece about heroin one of the lads anticipates my punchline and shouts it out before I can say it, “I don’t need alcohol to have a good time I need heroin.” For a split second I am not sure how to play this but I say my punchline anyway although it is pre-emptied by the lads and it gets a laugh. Either most of the audience don’t hear the heckle or they admire the audacity of me ploughing on. I ad-lib around the idea that the lads are going to do the punchline and leaves me to the set ups. But this feels un-necessary indiciating that much of he audience maybe didn’t hear the heckle at all. I fear I may have lost momentum here however by the end of the heroin section, the stuff about meal deals gets a round of applause break. This rarely if ever gets a round of applause. I really relax into the gig at this point. The gig builds all through the drinking section. The audience are heckley but fun. The gig is flying at this point. Nevertheless as I am sensing a certain amount of intellectual inertia (or is it severe drunkenness) at some of the cleverer lines.

The gig builds all the way through to the drinking beer section. There are a mother and daughter sitting together who love when I say “cunt” How often generations seem to brought together by the worlds worst swear word. Why?

So at the end of the drinking beer section, I am about two thirds the way through a twenty minute set and I am happy with how it is going and then something weird happens. I suddenly loose them.

I have a section about how men have friends that they don’t like while woman don’t tend to like their friends. In club sets this typically co-incides with a step up in the audience. It is an accessible, popular and seemingly universal observation. But as I say it I loose the audience totally. Almost to the point where I wonder if I have mumbled the line and they didn’t hear it. So I repeat the premise, but still nothing and this whole section is met by a collective bafflement. They don’t go for it and after this it is difficult to get them back. Even accessible topics like having sex for the first time doesn’t fly. I intend to end on the section about a kid offering me sweets but as this is quick and snappy I bring it forward. It lifts thing somewhat but it is struggling against the weight of the routine they didn’t like. The rest of the gigs limps along in mediocrity, I comment at the end how it was a gig of two half’s and how better it would have been had the half’s been swapped around. There was something in that observation about men women and their friends that did not ring true with that audience. Or is it a Liverpool thing?

After Gig

I feel pissed off after the gig. I leave the venue and talk to no one as I walk out. I don’t even say goodbye to the acts. (I will see them tomorrow so this isn’t as rude as it seems. Comedians do this all the time – it is in the rules). I walk to the station to get my train. I consider retiring from comedy.