Gig Report Saturday 4th May 2013
99 Club, View - Leicester Square
Before Gig
Boxers are supposed to avoid sex before a fight, something about making them too relaxed otherwise. Should comedians avoid sex before a gig? Tonight I am very relaxed. Possibly too relaxed. Indeed if I wasn’t so relaxed I would be worried about my state of relaxation this close to going on stage.
During Gig
I take to the stage in an odd bouncy kind of a way. I don’t know whose walk it is, but it certainly isn’t mine. I hope it isn’t another comedian’s walk. I don’t want to be accused of stealing material. I hope I haven’t stolen it off Russell Kane or somebody. I hope I’ve nicked it from a member of the public. It’s alright to steal off them isn’t it? The walk elicts a laugh from the audience which simultaneously stops them applauding before I reach the microphone. The last couple of bouncy steps are thus taken in silence. Bounce, bounce. I sense the audience feel they are in for a treat, they like my walk. I hope the bounce hasn’t raised expectations too high.
They clearly like me at the moment but I have to clear up the stopping-applauding-too-early situation before I go anywhere near a routine. I adlib something suitable. It works. God knows what I say, I am so relaxed I can’t remember. A bald man heckles he calls me “Iron Man” I am only vaguely aware of the superhero. I haven’t seen the film. I don’t really know if that heckle is an insult or not. Iron Man’s a good guy right? But why shout out compliments? There is some discussion back and forth while we nail the heckle down. All done in very leisurely way. We conclude it is not an insult. I become aware of how out of touch I now am with popular culture - I no longer know what constitutes an insult or a compliment. Stand up comedy has done this to me. Commenting on peoples’ lives has put me in a position where I no longer understand the very peoples’ lives I am supposed to be commenting on. The audience are aware of this paradox but they warm to me the more because of it. Its is like they are rewarding a disobedient dog. Some days you can’t do anything wrong.
This is literally the most relaxed I have been at the start of a gig - ever - and I’m not even doing routines. I would like to say that I feel that I’m in my own living room but I am so much more relaxed than that. I have never been this relaxed in my own living room ever, not even when I’m swearing at the television or failing to empty the bins. This is ultra relaxation. Perhaps I should perform like this for the rest of my career? This is a watershed moment. Already I am constructing answers in my head to hypothetical interviews. “Well, David Letterman, I think I developed that ultra laid back style back in the Spring of 2013”.
But fear not, not all of my mind is working on fantasy interviews, some of it is still concentrating on the gig in hand. I have enough presence of mind, for instance, to realise that I didn’t check the time on my watch before I took to the stage - another side effect of this new relaxation mantra. This slap dash attitude wouldn’t have been tolerated in the old days. I estimate I have been on stage 5 minutes now. Usually I can rely on my internal clock but I don’t trust it. There’s been a lot of adlibing already and it’s knocked my sense of time. Did I agree a signal with the venue staff? No. There is no signal to tell me when I’ve done my time. This is why too much relaxation is a bad idea. This is why hippiedom fizzled out. I would like to say things are flying now but it’s all too zen to be flying, more cruising. Maybe I should cruise. Now I feel I should do something else.
I feel that I am too relaxed, that somehow the audience should get more energy for their money. As I go into the dentist routine I decide quite consciously to pick up the pace. I noticeably increase the energy, move about the stage more, gesticulate more. More energy. There is no noticeable difference in the audience response. They are just as happy, no more so, no less so.
The only glitch is where I talk about gay marriage and I sense a certain resistance and conservatism in the crowd. The bald man apparently doesn’t like that routine. A mixture of confusion and disappointment from him and he quietly leaves. Perhaps he needs the toilet? Perhaps he need to catch some train of sorts? Am I still Iron Man now bald man?
I pull them back with some self deprecating stuff and it’s all plain sailing to the end. I have abandoned the earlier relaxed mode for a “heightened relax mode”. I bet the audience didn’t even notice.
After Gig
The change of gear didn’t seem to have any impact, either good or bad. Maybe things would have nose dived if I hadn’t change or maybe they would have got even better. I fear I am no closer to knowing the answer.
No comments:
Post a Comment